Idiot
by Mako Blue
Summary: Written for Oz's thoughts when Gilbert rescued him from Glen. Spoilers for Chapter 78-9.


Written for Gil's absurdly high threshold of pain, because amputating an arm by fire seems to slow him down as much as a papercut.

I don't own Pandora Hearts.

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Oz felt numb as he stared at the back of the ruin that was Gil. Gil, beautiful, loyal, perfect Gilbert had sacrificed his left arm for him? Why would he do such a thing? Nobody sacrificed an arm for a plush toy! Unless he was an idiot, and it was inconceivable that Gil could be so idiotic! Gil had already been hurt again and again by him and because of him, hideous puckered scars running diagonally across his front and back, and now he had deliberately maimed himself yet more, bloody and panting and missing an irreplaceable left arm, dodging death from the Baskervilles, laughing as only an idiot could as Oz struggled and tried to inform Gil about how big an idiot he was in every hysterical tone of voice there was.

Forsaken by his father, forsaken by reality, why couldn't his idiot best friend forsake him when he had already given up on himself? He would have understood perfectly if Gil hated him; he already hated himself. He was nothing but a stuffed rabbit, a placeholder in the body of a murderer, a being who had connived and schemed to bring about the end of the world, committing every despicable act in his earlier incarnations. Judgement and death were no more than he deserved. It wouldn't even be considered murder as he was only the soul of a toy inhabiting a body that should have died a long time ago. Any idiot could see he didn't deserve rescuing so why couldn't this idiot see that? And yet, Gil still reached out for him despite his flailing arms, protected him and dragged him away amidst fire and smoke after causing an unbelievably noisy, mayhem-filled scene with his master Glen, rescuing him when he didn't want to be rescued. Gil already had a place where he belonged but the idiot thought he belonged at Oz's side, abandoning his natural place among the Baskervilles to be with him. He had known that Gil couldn't tell a joke to save his life but this one was so hideously unfunny that he felt like throwing up. What was the idiot doing?

"Don't worry about it, Oz. I don't mind losing an arm as long as it means I can be by your side again."

Everyone knew not even idiots really meant it when they said things like that, except this idiot had really went and done it!

"I'm sorry Oz. Alright, I know I'm an idiot, that can't be helped. I know I am but there's probably nothing I can do about it."

Guilt flooded Oz's body as he clenched his eyes shut, lest he see what his friend had become because of him. What was the idiot talking about?

"What's exactly wrong with being fake, Oz?"

Everything!

"It's alright to be fake."

It's not!

"I don't care about that as long as you're Oz!"

A stuffed rabbit, a chain, potential destroyer of the world?

"I'm telling you it's alright and that's all that matters!"

Forget idiotic, Gil was flat out insane.

"Any objections, Oz?" Gil asked him cheerfully.

Plenty! You're going to be hurt again because of me! Why are you so cheerful?! Your-arm-your-arm-your-armmmmmm! Tears flooded Oz's eyes as he gripped the lapels of Gil's coat. "You're an irretrievably hopeless, complete idiot!" Oz yelled, burying his head in Gil's chest. And felt the rumble of Gil's chuckle. Was Gil laughing? He raised his head to see Gil smile at him, perfectly happy, golden eyes dancing.

"I'm not a complete idiot, Oz." Gil smiled, then indicated his left shoulder. "I'm missing an arm, see?"

Oz snapped at that, screaming and flailing, trying to hit some sense into the idiot, only to be enveloped in a tight, one-armed embrace that smelled of cigarette smoke, gunpowder, blood and Gil. Oz struggled for a while, then stopped, not wanting to hurt Gil, his friend, his absolutely, steadfast, loyal, _idiotic,_ _friend_ any more and sagged against Gil, sobbing. Gil relaxed, then stroked Oz's golden hair, trying to hush his sobs. "It's alright," he whispered into Oz's ear. "I'm on your side. I won't let forever be a lie."

The memory of a cheerful promise made between two children pierced through Oz's despair. _"I will never betray you... And I will never let you get hurt..."_

"Stop it, you idiot." He mumbled. "Its the job of a master to protect his servant."

"It's okay to be protected too, you know," Gil smiled as he pulled Oz to this feet. Already, the shouts of the approaching Baskervilles could be heard, drawn by the fire and smoke of Raven's flames. "Let's get out of here."

As they turned and ran down the corridor towards dubious safety, Oz mumbled," But you are still a hopeless idiot..."

And Gil laughed.

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Reviews would be appreciated. ^_^


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